Things I want to blog about

Below are some topics I will like to blog about in the following weeks/months

- Is having children one of the best ways to change the world? (positively)
- What is the truth about stereotypes?
- I've been able to thnk to find out the roots of all my problems
- Time can be a magnifier of pain
- Pain can help us to be more humble, can give us balance
- We are all farmers (what you sow is what you reap)
- I love going to church (stillness/ prison)
- I don't like going to church
- It takes skill to be real
- Don't ever change, keep your essence
- Motivation- everyday. whatever you can use/ positive or negative, GET MOTIVATED
- I came back to coffee. It's been 3 years since I quit
- I'm a diplomat... but i need to let people know my values asap
- What do you think of babies that avoid total eye contact?
- 2 poor men analogy: one wish...
- The world does function on trust
- Why move? Why achieve? the world is coming to an end
- The difference is not choice... the difference is courage
- We are all responsible for the world
- How do I find pleasure in the little things?
- I made eye contact with Janet Jackson in Paris
- Different sources of motivation at different points in our lives
- Make the best of your age 24
- I need good/right friends
- I have biggg nostrils, my childhood teasing and what the doctor said
- Am I a pessimist?
- God, how are you???
- I have never "fit in", either with Americans or Nigerians.

A word is enough for the wise

I don’t know about you but I have heard this saying hundreds of times. I recently was enlightened about it and realized what this statement really means. Before I used to think it meant once you tell a wise person something, the person would never forgot it.

A word is enough for the wise. What I take from this is that once the wise person hears something important, he/she writes it down, because they know they might never get another opportunity to hear it. There are two key points here: the wise person puts it down in some form i.e. writes it. and that the person does not take opportunities for granted.

I have constantly found myself in unwanted situations or problems because I had forgotten the “words” that I was told or that I told myself. It is usually in the midst of the problem that I realize, “crap Shola, you had foreseen this” but I had not made a conscious effort to remind myself (i.e. write it down) and review it regularly...

So my word today to you is, when an important word is spoken to you, write it down because you might never get another opportunity and that one time could be your saving grace.

Happy 2013

I didn't do all that I was supposed to do in 2012... No retreat. No surrender.

Welcome to 2013.
I don't really have anything to say today. It is the 1st of January, 2013. I just had to get on here to restart the habit of writing on this blog. I haven't written in maybe two months or so. In my mind I have to project that 2013 is already gone, so I might as well start prepping for 2014 and 2015 and so on.
I did not create any goals or plan for this year. I need to get on that. I need to reevaluate my 5 year plan.

Themes of the year
Focus on the practice
Putting God first
Getting away from the unreasonable people in our lives
Letting go of the past, successes and failures
Seek knowledge, get understanding
Courage in the face of adversity


It is well. 2013 has come and gone already. We just have to grind it out rightly. Everyday must be a challenge as we get our habits right and start redefining, recreating, refocusing our lives.

Looking foward to taking each day seriously and making the best out of everything that comes my way.

Welcome to Nigeria

Welcome to Zee Mozerland

Before writing this. I should admit. I'm not the best person to comment on this subject. I'm sure others have written about it yet I find it beffting to add my own experience to history

I was having dinner with a couple at their home. A multicultural couple. While having a deep conversation about something the man proceeded to ask me: "do you consider yourself more Nigerian or American ?"
I laughed a little and then he said: "I'm sorry it was too challenging of a question to ask, you don't have to answer it..."

Before I continue I should let you know, this was the day before I moved to the Motherland (Nigeria). It had been 14 yrs since I left. Of course I had been back to visit several times but my experiences had occurred under less consciousness or awareness. Back to the story, I smiled and told him: "No, it is not challenging" and then I answered proudly laughing and saying "yeah I feel more Nigerian". What a mistake. The next day I got on my flight to The Motherland and that is when I started to question what it means to be Nigerian and what it is to be proud of.

When I got to Nigeria I realized how fundamentally flawed most Nigerians are. Most. Not all.

Amongst the problems, these are a few... and some of them are redundant:

Rudeness-- just plain disgusting rudeness sometimes
Aggressiveness--most interactions are conducted in an aggressive manner by both parties
Meanness-- I kept noticing systematic meanness, unneccesary meaness and the lack of love amongst neighbors
Social Inequality
Wealth as a sign on Identity and Rich people being seen as gods and even worse acting like gods
Profound lawlessness
People are ready to cheat you because they know you are going to cheat them
Too much arguing!
Treating people as if they are things and not human beings
Lesser percieved value of human life
Widespread cases of idleness/slothness-- a life w/o a purpose can hardly said to be human
The love of praise is too much

I came up with reasons for all the above but because of the lenght I chose not to discuss them here, maybe a later post

My dealings for the past two weeks have allowed me to come up with conclusions like:

-Being honest or principled is likely to result in physical poverty, in the motherland. (righteousness has a price and that price can sometimes be unemployment or stagnancy or poverty, esp in a country like this. You either join them or...)
-It is very easy to create enemies if you choose to act principled


A famous philosopher once said that when introduced to an environment where unacceptable behavior is the norm, initially a newcomer becomes disgusted by the behavior, after some time he/she becomes less disgusted then tolerant of the behavior and then gradually he/she accepts and even participates in the behavior. It is just human nature, accelerated by passivity.


I definitely do not want to change in these aspects and I have set up a plan of action on how I have to remain balanced and stick to my core, because like my cousin Tupac Amaru Shakur said: don't ever change, keep your essence.

What I/you must do to be able live here and keep balance

Stay on your toes. If you live in a negative environment it is only a matter of time before you become more negative. The only solution to this is to change environment or character. You are not changing environment so you must focus on living very consciously and deliberately in order to protect your character

Being very careful who you give praise to. I always praise the common man I have an interaction with, whether it be a security guy at a shop or a cashier or whoever, but when dealing with people who think they are esteemed over others for whatever reason I remain even/neutral. I'm no sycophant

You must know how to live with boredom. I brought over 70 pounds of books with me. This should solve that problem... I hope. I know I can't spend all my time reading but reading has so many benefits and I plan to exploit this pasttime

You must be patient. Nigerians are very impatient and this is ironic because things move slowly here (compared to the western world) so you must learn to be patient and do something in the meanwhile to aid your spirit

You need to be aware of your fundamentals. This is most important and I should have put it first. You need to know your values and be 100% sure about them. That is key to anything or any situation really

Extreme politeness. To negate the effect of rudeness I practice extreme politeness with all Naijas I meet. I notice that most of my interactions with people, usually start negative. I have noticed that if you are genuinely nice they will come around.

Don't participate in the bullshit multifaceted respect. Have the same level of respect for all individuals. Don't feed egos and don't let you ego be fed


Living in the motherland can finish you if you don't take care. I would appreciate any other advice on how to keep my balance/guard my heart

Embracing Uncertainty

The only solution (for me) is to embrace uncertainty

Get tough in life.
"i've learnt that life is tough but i am tougher"

We are faced with a lot of uncertainty in life, especially nowadays. I am sure things were worse for people in the past but what makes today bad for us is that we were brought up with promises, expectations. In the past 5 to 6 years things changed drastically and opened our eyes to what society is really founded upon.
The lives we were promised, the prosperity, these things are now only achievable for a few. And it is not even sustainable... I do not want to be part of a world that perpertuates unfairness and equality... but what choice do I have?

There is uncertainty in all facets of life, and uncertainly brings fear. Fear is not a good thing, there is no argument or situation where fear can be seen as a good thing (okay, maybe there is one: Fear the Lord your God, but this is different). But instead of exposing ourself to fear, can we change in a way so that we embrace uncertainty? Can we look at uncertainty positively? If we can change our mindset and embrace uncertainty, I beleive this will make our lives much, much better. Instead of worrying about uncertainty and living in paralysis how about we embrace uncertainty, breathe, compartmentalize, take yourself out of the situation, plan, make conscious decisions, execute and if the worst does happen then it was meant to be like that. I have a motto which i adopted years ago, I will do my best and if I fail i will be able to say I did all I could to succeed and therefore if i failed the failure was outside my power.

Adopt this mindset, chances are you will never fail. Do not be a victim, embrace uncertainty...

Yes life is tough, but you are tougher!

Living in constant fear

We live in a world where nothing is gauranteed anymore. There is so much fear and uncertainty that sometimes people just wish their lives would end... as death might be the best way out. I am somewhat pessimistic about the world, I make controversial statements like: the earth is overpopulated and this is one of the sources of our problems. I also unfortunately think that things will only get worse.

A lot of times I ask myself why people have kids, especially kids they cannot take care of. I think it is a very discertaining thing. I mean why would you want to bring a child into this already jacked up world? A world that operates on egoism and competition, instead of unity and cooperation. (La vie de merde, as my french friend would say)

The world is really in a bad place, is there hope? hmm.... I have no position on that statement.

Eitherways this was not originally what my post was supposed to be on. It was supposed to be inspirational. I wanted to talk about the people who live honorable lives in constant *fear*: FIREMEN, POLICEMEN, ETC

These are people that you have accepted that your job is to be ready to die for another person. I look at this and think it is very honorable. I think you would have to get up each morning and live each day like it is your last (something I am trying to incorporate in my life). Because the truth is all that matters is today, yesterday is gone and we are not even sure the future exists...

Beggers are good public speakers

It has been said that public speaking is the number 1 fear among Americans, even cited to be more feared that death. I find that very interesting. I currently live in Paris and as a Parisian, you come across a lot of people in the metro or on the streets who either busk or outright ask you for money. In my habit of over-thinking, I could not help but be impressed by the style and effect these people have. These guys are good public speakers. I mean, we can definitely learn something from them.

What can I learn from them?
-Not giving a darn what people think about you definitely helps your confidence
-Having nothing to lose definitely frees you and there is no boundary to courage/bravery
-Egoism, pride can be a huge obstacle to your development

3 short but important things. I need to learn to incorporate this into my life, in a way that enables me to be balanced and effective. This is what what I want to found my life on. This is what I want my life to be based on.