Welcome to Nigeria

Welcome to Zee Mozerland

Before writing this. I should admit. I'm not the best person to comment on this subject. I'm sure others have written about it yet I find it beffting to add my own experience to history

I was having dinner with a couple at their home. A multicultural couple. While having a deep conversation about something the man proceeded to ask me: "do you consider yourself more Nigerian or American ?"
I laughed a little and then he said: "I'm sorry it was too challenging of a question to ask, you don't have to answer it..."

Before I continue I should let you know, this was the day before I moved to the Motherland (Nigeria). It had been 14 yrs since I left. Of course I had been back to visit several times but my experiences had occurred under less consciousness or awareness. Back to the story, I smiled and told him: "No, it is not challenging" and then I answered proudly laughing and saying "yeah I feel more Nigerian". What a mistake. The next day I got on my flight to The Motherland and that is when I started to question what it means to be Nigerian and what it is to be proud of.

When I got to Nigeria I realized how fundamentally flawed most Nigerians are. Most. Not all.

Amongst the problems, these are a few... and some of them are redundant:

Rudeness-- just plain disgusting rudeness sometimes
Aggressiveness--most interactions are conducted in an aggressive manner by both parties
Meanness-- I kept noticing systematic meanness, unneccesary meaness and the lack of love amongst neighbors
Social Inequality
Wealth as a sign on Identity and Rich people being seen as gods and even worse acting like gods
Profound lawlessness
People are ready to cheat you because they know you are going to cheat them
Too much arguing!
Treating people as if they are things and not human beings
Lesser percieved value of human life
Widespread cases of idleness/slothness-- a life w/o a purpose can hardly said to be human
The love of praise is too much

I came up with reasons for all the above but because of the lenght I chose not to discuss them here, maybe a later post

My dealings for the past two weeks have allowed me to come up with conclusions like:

-Being honest or principled is likely to result in physical poverty, in the motherland. (righteousness has a price and that price can sometimes be unemployment or stagnancy or poverty, esp in a country like this. You either join them or...)
-It is very easy to create enemies if you choose to act principled


A famous philosopher once said that when introduced to an environment where unacceptable behavior is the norm, initially a newcomer becomes disgusted by the behavior, after some time he/she becomes less disgusted then tolerant of the behavior and then gradually he/she accepts and even participates in the behavior. It is just human nature, accelerated by passivity.


I definitely do not want to change in these aspects and I have set up a plan of action on how I have to remain balanced and stick to my core, because like my cousin Tupac Amaru Shakur said: don't ever change, keep your essence.

What I/you must do to be able live here and keep balance

Stay on your toes. If you live in a negative environment it is only a matter of time before you become more negative. The only solution to this is to change environment or character. You are not changing environment so you must focus on living very consciously and deliberately in order to protect your character

Being very careful who you give praise to. I always praise the common man I have an interaction with, whether it be a security guy at a shop or a cashier or whoever, but when dealing with people who think they are esteemed over others for whatever reason I remain even/neutral. I'm no sycophant

You must know how to live with boredom. I brought over 70 pounds of books with me. This should solve that problem... I hope. I know I can't spend all my time reading but reading has so many benefits and I plan to exploit this pasttime

You must be patient. Nigerians are very impatient and this is ironic because things move slowly here (compared to the western world) so you must learn to be patient and do something in the meanwhile to aid your spirit

You need to be aware of your fundamentals. This is most important and I should have put it first. You need to know your values and be 100% sure about them. That is key to anything or any situation really

Extreme politeness. To negate the effect of rudeness I practice extreme politeness with all Naijas I meet. I notice that most of my interactions with people, usually start negative. I have noticed that if you are genuinely nice they will come around.

Don't participate in the bullshit multifaceted respect. Have the same level of respect for all individuals. Don't feed egos and don't let you ego be fed


Living in the motherland can finish you if you don't take care. I would appreciate any other advice on how to keep my balance/guard my heart

Embracing Uncertainty

The only solution (for me) is to embrace uncertainty

Get tough in life.
"i've learnt that life is tough but i am tougher"

We are faced with a lot of uncertainty in life, especially nowadays. I am sure things were worse for people in the past but what makes today bad for us is that we were brought up with promises, expectations. In the past 5 to 6 years things changed drastically and opened our eyes to what society is really founded upon.
The lives we were promised, the prosperity, these things are now only achievable for a few. And it is not even sustainable... I do not want to be part of a world that perpertuates unfairness and equality... but what choice do I have?

There is uncertainty in all facets of life, and uncertainly brings fear. Fear is not a good thing, there is no argument or situation where fear can be seen as a good thing (okay, maybe there is one: Fear the Lord your God, but this is different). But instead of exposing ourself to fear, can we change in a way so that we embrace uncertainty? Can we look at uncertainty positively? If we can change our mindset and embrace uncertainty, I beleive this will make our lives much, much better. Instead of worrying about uncertainty and living in paralysis how about we embrace uncertainty, breathe, compartmentalize, take yourself out of the situation, plan, make conscious decisions, execute and if the worst does happen then it was meant to be like that. I have a motto which i adopted years ago, I will do my best and if I fail i will be able to say I did all I could to succeed and therefore if i failed the failure was outside my power.

Adopt this mindset, chances are you will never fail. Do not be a victim, embrace uncertainty...

Yes life is tough, but you are tougher!

Living in constant fear

We live in a world where nothing is gauranteed anymore. There is so much fear and uncertainty that sometimes people just wish their lives would end... as death might be the best way out. I am somewhat pessimistic about the world, I make controversial statements like: the earth is overpopulated and this is one of the sources of our problems. I also unfortunately think that things will only get worse.

A lot of times I ask myself why people have kids, especially kids they cannot take care of. I think it is a very discertaining thing. I mean why would you want to bring a child into this already jacked up world? A world that operates on egoism and competition, instead of unity and cooperation. (La vie de merde, as my french friend would say)

The world is really in a bad place, is there hope? hmm.... I have no position on that statement.

Eitherways this was not originally what my post was supposed to be on. It was supposed to be inspirational. I wanted to talk about the people who live honorable lives in constant *fear*: FIREMEN, POLICEMEN, ETC

These are people that you have accepted that your job is to be ready to die for another person. I look at this and think it is very honorable. I think you would have to get up each morning and live each day like it is your last (something I am trying to incorporate in my life). Because the truth is all that matters is today, yesterday is gone and we are not even sure the future exists...

Beggers are good public speakers

It has been said that public speaking is the number 1 fear among Americans, even cited to be more feared that death. I find that very interesting. I currently live in Paris and as a Parisian, you come across a lot of people in the metro or on the streets who either busk or outright ask you for money. In my habit of over-thinking, I could not help but be impressed by the style and effect these people have. These guys are good public speakers. I mean, we can definitely learn something from them.

What can I learn from them?
-Not giving a darn what people think about you definitely helps your confidence
-Having nothing to lose definitely frees you and there is no boundary to courage/bravery
-Egoism, pride can be a huge obstacle to your development

3 short but important things. I need to learn to incorporate this into my life, in a way that enables me to be balanced and effective. This is what what I want to found my life on. This is what I want my life to be based on.

Only way to slow down time

I used to think there was only one way to slow down time but before writing this I was mentioning it to somebody and they disagreed.. they mentioned that you can also slow down time by smoking marijuana...
I cannot comment on that as I have no experience in that area but I have figured out a sure way to slow down time.
This concept came to me when I was reading a newspaper, there was a cartoon and two students were in a classroom talking and the conversation went something like this:

guy number 1:"I have made a new discovery! how to slow down time..."
guy number 2: "how?!?!"
guy number 1: "take a geology class!!"

my take from this//
I realize that when we are having fun, time flies, but when we are working hard or doing something we don't like... time "slows down"


You either want time to slow down or move faster, depending on where you are in your life right now, it is different for most people; those suffering want time to move faster while those enjoying want it to move slower. We can understand why people would feel like this.

I have my own reasons for wanting time to slow down. At the age of 22, I was invincible. I didn't realize I was growing older till about 2 months before my 23rd birthday. I just realized... CRAP. I am turning 23 soon and nothing can change that.... CRAP!!! is how i felt.

I fear growing old for several reasons: responsibilities, children, being accountable for my previous years, having to face regrets, having to make big decisions, and just being looked at as being old...

So to "slow down time" I came up with a list, the basic premise is to INVEST:
spend time doing something that is productive but not neccesarily interesting.
I would say: pick up a book and read
spend some time working out
spend sometime working on your writing
spend time being still. focus on your breathing
spend time journaling


When we slow down time, we get to appreciate the moment and we get to use our time more wisely.

##slow down time##

I need to learn to accept defeat

learning to accept defeat.
this is hard...
but it is neccesary.
What does it mean to accept defeat? It means knowing the situations that you need to let go of, knowing what you can handle and what you cannot;
ego is a very big part of me. pride is a very big part of who i am. sometimes i look at myself and say to myself that i stink with pride. it is a flaw... more of a curse than a blessing

a few years ago i was dealing with this girl i didnt really like but cuz she was snobbing me i wanted to pursue her by force just to satisfy my pride. i was not interested in her in anyway but just wanted to get her to like me. i took it personally when she did not and went ahead to curse her out a few weeks after the affair was over. I said to myself "that would teach her... not to mess with me".. yes.. that would teach her.

i acted based on my pride. the things i said to her were hurtful and had no real purpose but to soothen my own ego. by accepting defeat i should have conceived that it is okay, the girl "won" and i could have made my life and hers better by just accepting this and moving on.

there is too much negative out there for you or I to be adding some more.

learn to accept defeat in the right contexts. it makes you a better person

going back to the fundamentals

I need to go back to the fundamentals of my life. I have gotten caught up in so many things that are happening that I have forgotten what I am supposed to be building my life upon... hmmm

I am going back to the fundamentals