Places we hate to be

I am a student in Paris and despite the fact that I have an american passport, I have to go through some much crap just to be in this country (France). A few days ago, i spent 3 hours in the line at the immigrations office only to be told that i would have to come back the next day to set up an appointment. While I was in the line i was thinking about how much i hated just standing there and being idle. It then inspired me to think about places that I hate being because of the idleness it entails and the unlimited time you can waste there..
so i decided to publish a list...please feel free to add some as my knowledge and experience is very limited

Places we hate to be
-Hospitals
-Embassies
-Driver license offices
-Police stations

I would say I have learned though. After the first two painful visits, I decided to be proactive and to carry a book with me the following time. Sometimes it is hard getting the discipline to actually pick up the book and read but in a situation where I have to stand 3 hours just to speak to a human being who holds a key to my goal, I realize it is to my benefit in all avenues to have a book with me so I can at least be productive. It is a win-win situation.

I grew up on criticism

I grew up on criticism

I grew up on criticism, either from parents, family or classmates… I grew up in a tough environment when I was in school. Every little thing I did wrong I got insulted and made fun of by the rich middle eastern kids who had this token black boy in their class. I remember it all started in the first week of my arrival…. I was in class…. picking my nose and the boy beside me, I still remember it vividly. he shouted, “Oh _____ (my name)! Bougar bougar! What is this?” (imagine this in an Arabian accent)

From that day on I never picked my nose in public, he still continued to make fun of me for the next few years. For that year every time we had an argument he would make the gesture of picking his nose just to put me in my place… I guess

Things like this continued throughout my academic odyssey in that country… anytime I was doing something wrong, I was always sure to get corrected, no matter how trivial the thing was. 

Looking back at all this, I honestly can say this accelerated my growth as a human being. I grew up looking for criticism because it showed me where there were holes and what I needed to work on.

Things changed when I got to America…. In America when I went to high school I don’t think I was ever criticized…. and in university everybody was just doing his or her own thing. I came to realize that sometimes you might be doing something wrong but people would never approach you to “correct” (help) you.

This can be a good or a bad thing depending on how you look at it but it is important to understand that there is a thin line between constructive criticism and criticism.

I have developed this attitude of the Americans in laissez faire because I do understand where they are coming from. It has showed me why there is a distinction between the platinum rule and the golden rule:

Golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated

Platinum rule: treat others as they would like to be treated

I like criticism (for the most part) but I understand the need to accept others as they are, instead of trying to change them.

So I encourage and accept criticisms directed towards me but try not to let any come from me. If I can’t stand somebody I just stay away from them instead of trying to change them…

There is some liberation in expressing yourself, I have to admit that and sometimes I do fall into the trap when I feel there is no way out (there is always a way out)

But you gotta ask yourself this question:

who are you to try to think you can change someone?

How to choose a church

How to choose a church?

Well I am in no way an expert and this post is to focus on basic fundamental signs of whether a church is fundamentally right for you. Here we go.. directly into my one and only method.. PROVEN

(this has to be done in the winter)

Upon arrival to a church, go straight to the toilet, turn on the hot water, wait 30 seconds or so and check to see if the water is hot or warm or cold. If the water is not warm/hot, guess what…? NO. just walk right out of the church and go to the next one…  If on the other hand the water is warm/hot guess what? It means you are at a “real” church.

What is the difference between the two? One cares about its members comfort and the other is fundamentally a business trying to cut down its expenses

VALUES

a list of values and definitions

Accountable                            Takes responsibility for both actions and outcomes

Achievement                           Aspires to the highest levels of excellence

Authority                                 Possessing power over decisions, people, assets

Balance                                   Balancing time and effort between work, home, hobbies

Creativity/Innovation              Thinking outside the box; trying new ways of accomplishing a goal

Change                                    Looking forward to and valuing change, continuous improvement, doing things differently

Commitment                          Being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action, dedication

Competence                            Possessing the skill, knowledge and ability to effectively perform

Courage                                   The willingness to take calculated risks and step outside of one’s comfort zone

Customer Satisfaction            Achieving excellence in customer satisfaction

Diversity                                  Respecting a variety of cultures/lifestyles

Effectiveness                          Executing with precision to achieve results

Efficiency                                                Producing results in a timely manner with a minimal of waste, expense, or unnecessary effort

Fairness                                  Treating people and being treated equally

Faith/Religion                         Belief in a higher power

Family                                     Being with family, both quality and quantity of time

Fitness                                    Being physically fit; optimal well-being

Fun                                          Playfulness, ability to laugh and express humor, joking

Growth                                    Investing in lifelong learning, personal development, self-education

Honesty                                   Being truthful, sincere

Independence                         Free from the influence, guidance, or control of others

Integrity                                  Words and deeds match up.  I am who I am; no matter where I am or who I am with.

Knowledge                              Subject matter expert, educated via experience or study

Legacy                                     Making a difference today with tomorrow in mind, succession

Loyalty                                     Faithful to a person, an ideal, a custom, a cause or a duty

Money/Wealth                       An abundance of valuable material possessions, riches

Passion                                    Intense emotional excitement, boundless enthusiasm

Perfection                               Reaches the highest attainable standard, details

Quality                                    A standard of excellence

Recognition                             Giving and receiving acknowledgement for achievements

Simplicity                                                Lack of complexity, complication

Status                                      Holding a position of importance, high standing, prestige

Structure                                 Formality, processes, and systems

Teamwork                               Cooperative effort by a group

Trust                                        Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing

Urgency                                   Fast paced, swift, action orientated

Volunteerism/Service             Serving the community, non-profit organizations

Wisdom                                  Having deep understanding, insight, and knowledge, the ability to make good judgments

Rules Rules Rulesss!

Regardless of what age you are you can immediatly start making a change in your life because even though yesterday is gone, it really is not gone unless you have: learned from it and changed your habits.

So a few years ago I decided that it is important for me to build my life on the right things. I try to wake up every morning and look at the following list just to remind me of what my life is about and to set the tone for the day.


-Never get mad [be still in every situation and regardless of how bad it might be use your brain to find balance]
-Don't spend too much time with something you are not going to stay with [time is precious, emotions are precious]
-Dont ever do anything because you want to "prove something" to someone who anyone [because the truth of the matter is no one cares, nobody cares! and it just leaves you emptier]
-Take each day seriously [as a matter of fact take your vacation time seriously. Get up every AM and convince yourself that TODAY COUNTS!]
-The world has no place for weak people [motivational! you gotta keep moving and growing, if not you will become history!]

The formula for Success

I did not read this anywhere but it has seemed common sense to me. I believe everybody has a formula to success, regardless of who you are or the journey you have. Yes we all define success differently but fundamentally success is defined as "setting a goal and reaching that goal"

my Formula to my success
Discipline
Time management
Relationship with God

Why did I start this blog?

I knew I had to write about why I started blogging.

Why am I blogging? For myself or for others?

It didn’t take two seconds to answer that question: I am blogging for myself. Blogging is like journaling.

Sometimes I feel like I think too much, like I analyse too much… sometimes I wonder: is it possible to just… PAUSE!?

I guess blogging allows me to put down my ideas and thoughts. I realize that once I type it out, put it on paper… it does not clog up my brain activity anymore.

So I started blogging for myself but do hope whoever reads this will benefit from it in one way or the other!

I’ve come to realize that it is in writing about myself that I come to know more about myself, consciously realizing who I am and the direction I am going.

Oh yeah I also chose to start blogging because I need to better my writing.