I grew up on criticism

I grew up on criticism

I grew up on criticism, either from parents, family or classmates… I grew up in a tough environment when I was in school. Every little thing I did wrong I got insulted and made fun of by the rich middle eastern kids who had this token black boy in their class. I remember it all started in the first week of my arrival…. I was in class…. picking my nose and the boy beside me, I still remember it vividly. he shouted, “Oh _____ (my name)! Bougar bougar! What is this?” (imagine this in an Arabian accent)

From that day on I never picked my nose in public, he still continued to make fun of me for the next few years. For that year every time we had an argument he would make the gesture of picking his nose just to put me in my place… I guess

Things like this continued throughout my academic odyssey in that country… anytime I was doing something wrong, I was always sure to get corrected, no matter how trivial the thing was. 

Looking back at all this, I honestly can say this accelerated my growth as a human being. I grew up looking for criticism because it showed me where there were holes and what I needed to work on.

Things changed when I got to America…. In America when I went to high school I don’t think I was ever criticized…. and in university everybody was just doing his or her own thing. I came to realize that sometimes you might be doing something wrong but people would never approach you to “correct” (help) you.

This can be a good or a bad thing depending on how you look at it but it is important to understand that there is a thin line between constructive criticism and criticism.

I have developed this attitude of the Americans in laissez faire because I do understand where they are coming from. It has showed me why there is a distinction between the platinum rule and the golden rule:

Golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated

Platinum rule: treat others as they would like to be treated

I like criticism (for the most part) but I understand the need to accept others as they are, instead of trying to change them.

So I encourage and accept criticisms directed towards me but try not to let any come from me. If I can’t stand somebody I just stay away from them instead of trying to change them…

There is some liberation in expressing yourself, I have to admit that and sometimes I do fall into the trap when I feel there is no way out (there is always a way out)

But you gotta ask yourself this question:

who are you to try to think you can change someone?

How to choose a church

How to choose a church?

Well I am in no way an expert and this post is to focus on basic fundamental signs of whether a church is fundamentally right for you. Here we go.. directly into my one and only method.. PROVEN

(this has to be done in the winter)

Upon arrival to a church, go straight to the toilet, turn on the hot water, wait 30 seconds or so and check to see if the water is hot or warm or cold. If the water is not warm/hot, guess what…? NO. just walk right out of the church and go to the next one…  If on the other hand the water is warm/hot guess what? It means you are at a “real” church.

What is the difference between the two? One cares about its members comfort and the other is fundamentally a business trying to cut down its expenses

VALUES

a list of values and definitions

Accountable                            Takes responsibility for both actions and outcomes

Achievement                           Aspires to the highest levels of excellence

Authority                                 Possessing power over decisions, people, assets

Balance                                   Balancing time and effort between work, home, hobbies

Creativity/Innovation              Thinking outside the box; trying new ways of accomplishing a goal

Change                                    Looking forward to and valuing change, continuous improvement, doing things differently

Commitment                          Being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action, dedication

Competence                            Possessing the skill, knowledge and ability to effectively perform

Courage                                   The willingness to take calculated risks and step outside of one’s comfort zone

Customer Satisfaction            Achieving excellence in customer satisfaction

Diversity                                  Respecting a variety of cultures/lifestyles

Effectiveness                          Executing with precision to achieve results

Efficiency                                                Producing results in a timely manner with a minimal of waste, expense, or unnecessary effort

Fairness                                  Treating people and being treated equally

Faith/Religion                         Belief in a higher power

Family                                     Being with family, both quality and quantity of time

Fitness                                    Being physically fit; optimal well-being

Fun                                          Playfulness, ability to laugh and express humor, joking

Growth                                    Investing in lifelong learning, personal development, self-education

Honesty                                   Being truthful, sincere

Independence                         Free from the influence, guidance, or control of others

Integrity                                  Words and deeds match up.  I am who I am; no matter where I am or who I am with.

Knowledge                              Subject matter expert, educated via experience or study

Legacy                                     Making a difference today with tomorrow in mind, succession

Loyalty                                     Faithful to a person, an ideal, a custom, a cause or a duty

Money/Wealth                       An abundance of valuable material possessions, riches

Passion                                    Intense emotional excitement, boundless enthusiasm

Perfection                               Reaches the highest attainable standard, details

Quality                                    A standard of excellence

Recognition                             Giving and receiving acknowledgement for achievements

Simplicity                                                Lack of complexity, complication

Status                                      Holding a position of importance, high standing, prestige

Structure                                 Formality, processes, and systems

Teamwork                               Cooperative effort by a group

Trust                                        Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing

Urgency                                   Fast paced, swift, action orientated

Volunteerism/Service             Serving the community, non-profit organizations

Wisdom                                  Having deep understanding, insight, and knowledge, the ability to make good judgments

Rules Rules Rulesss!

Regardless of what age you are you can immediatly start making a change in your life because even though yesterday is gone, it really is not gone unless you have: learned from it and changed your habits.

So a few years ago I decided that it is important for me to build my life on the right things. I try to wake up every morning and look at the following list just to remind me of what my life is about and to set the tone for the day.


-Never get mad [be still in every situation and regardless of how bad it might be use your brain to find balance]
-Don't spend too much time with something you are not going to stay with [time is precious, emotions are precious]
-Dont ever do anything because you want to "prove something" to someone who anyone [because the truth of the matter is no one cares, nobody cares! and it just leaves you emptier]
-Take each day seriously [as a matter of fact take your vacation time seriously. Get up every AM and convince yourself that TODAY COUNTS!]
-The world has no place for weak people [motivational! you gotta keep moving and growing, if not you will become history!]

The formula for Success

I did not read this anywhere but it has seemed common sense to me. I believe everybody has a formula to success, regardless of who you are or the journey you have. Yes we all define success differently but fundamentally success is defined as "setting a goal and reaching that goal"

my Formula to my success
Discipline
Time management
Relationship with God

Why did I start this blog?

I knew I had to write about why I started blogging.

Why am I blogging? For myself or for others?

It didn’t take two seconds to answer that question: I am blogging for myself. Blogging is like journaling.

Sometimes I feel like I think too much, like I analyse too much… sometimes I wonder: is it possible to just… PAUSE!?

I guess blogging allows me to put down my ideas and thoughts. I realize that once I type it out, put it on paper… it does not clog up my brain activity anymore.

So I started blogging for myself but do hope whoever reads this will benefit from it in one way or the other!

I’ve come to realize that it is in writing about myself that I come to know more about myself, consciously realizing who I am and the direction I am going.

Oh yeah I also chose to start blogging because I need to better my writing.

The challenge of being behind

Imagine....

You are an extremely hardworking student, you are a 24 year old senior and are pursuing a degree in Biochemistry, so you can go to medical school.

One evening, after a 4 hour study period at the library, you are on your way to your apartment... you cross the street without looking twice and BAM, a drunk driver hits you and LIGHTS OUT... you are unconscious...

You wake up... look around... you are conscious, you are in a hospital, you remember what happened... you see a yellow button that allows you to call a nurse, you press it and 20 seconds later, the nurse shows up with her mouth wide open (she is extremely surprised you are up). You start talking to her and then you realize... it is seven years later... you were in a coma for 7 years....


now what?

You are now a 31 year old who missed out on the last 7 years of his life. Where do you go from here? Could you still pursue your ambitions?
The amount of knowledge and technology in the world has definitely advanced exponentially to the point where you are just too overwhelmed to be able to think straight....

honestly... What is the next step??


Fortunately, this does not happen often... but unfortunately it happens all the time.
We have people who live unconscious lives for years before realizing that the world is too far ahead of them...
they get to a point where they are tooo deep and it is too overwhelming to try to figure things out...

We live in a time of constant learning, for you to remain just average, you need to keep learning till the day you kick the bucket...

I was an OECD youth unemployment conference where they were talking about why so much youth are unemployed in Europe. Someone brought forth the idea that the youth of today are just too lazy especially because of all the technology and material at their disposal. trying to put it in their words "they do not really understand the concept of hard work or discipline"

Unfortunately I agree with this statement, of course not for all youth but for a majority... the lack of discipline is a serious problem in our generation. It honestly is not our fault because anybody could be in this situation, even our grandparents (if they were born in our time).

It is not our fault BUT it is our responsibility.

Time moves incredibly fast nowadays, i know for sure when I was younger time did not move as fast as it does today.
There is only one way to slow down time
 (slowing down time link)


Getting back into the Game
-Pick up a book and read (recommended book list link)
-make goals for your life, write them down and look at them every morning.
-honestly think of a way you can change the world (even if its in a little way)
-sign up for a newspaper that covers global events (i recommend WSJ)

**the best time to catch up or get ahead in the game is when there is chaos/a crisis. Why? because in times of crisis most people "slack off" For example, when the earthquake happened in Japan, alot of people around me started asking, what's the point of life if one day this is going to happen and blah blah... people decided that it is better to enjoy the moment instead of continue investing. well it is important to know that most stories are blown up so that fear will hit us and so the few and advantaged will accelerate while the majority slack off. So do not let any crisis give you a false assurance of "i can die tomorrow so let me just enjoy".  Move and move fast in the time of crisis