Welcome to Zee Mozerland
Before writing this. I should admit. I'm not the best person to comment on this subject. I'm sure others have written about it yet I find it beffting to add my own experience to history
I was having dinner with a couple at their home. A multicultural couple. While having a deep conversation about something the man proceeded to ask me: "do you consider yourself more Nigerian or American ?"
I laughed a little and then he said: "I'm sorry it was too challenging of a question to ask, you don't have to answer it..."
Before I continue I should let you know, this was the day before I moved to the Motherland (Nigeria). It had been 14 yrs since I left. Of course I had been back to visit several times but my experiences had occurred under less consciousness or awareness. Back to the story, I smiled and told him: "No, it is not challenging" and then I answered proudly laughing and saying "yeah I feel more Nigerian". What a mistake. The next day I got on my flight to The Motherland and that is when I started to question what it means to be Nigerian and what it is to be proud of.
When I got to Nigeria I realized how fundamentally flawed most Nigerians are. Most. Not all.
Amongst the problems, these are a few... and some of them are redundant:
Rudeness-- just plain disgusting rudeness sometimes
Aggressiveness--most interactions are conducted in an aggressive manner by both parties
Meanness-- I kept noticing systematic meanness, unneccesary meaness and the lack of love amongst neighbors
Social Inequality
Wealth as a sign on Identity and Rich people being seen as gods and even worse acting like gods
Profound lawlessness
People are ready to cheat you because they know you are going to cheat them
Too much arguing!
Treating people as if they are things and not human beings
Lesser percieved value of human life
Widespread cases of idleness/slothness-- a life w/o a purpose can hardly said to be human
The love of praise is too much
I came up with reasons for all the above but because of the lenght I chose not to discuss them here, maybe a later post
My dealings for the past two weeks have allowed me to come up with conclusions like:
-Being honest or principled is likely to result in physical poverty, in the motherland. (righteousness has a price and that price can sometimes be unemployment or stagnancy or poverty, esp in a country like this. You either join them or...)
-It is very easy to create enemies if you choose to act principled
A famous philosopher once said that when introduced to an environment where unacceptable behavior is the norm, initially a newcomer becomes disgusted by the behavior, after some time he/she becomes less disgusted then tolerant of the behavior and then gradually he/she accepts and even participates in the behavior. It is just human nature, accelerated by passivity.
I definitely do not want to change in these aspects and I have set up a plan of action on how I have to remain balanced and stick to my core, because like my cousin Tupac Amaru Shakur said: don't ever change, keep your essence.
What I/you must do to be able live here and keep balance
Stay on your toes. If you live in a negative environment it is only a matter of time before you become more negative. The only solution to this is to change environment or character. You are not changing environment so you must focus on living very consciously and deliberately in order to protect your character
Being very careful who you give praise to. I always praise the common man I have an interaction with, whether it be a security guy at a shop or a cashier or whoever, but when dealing with people who think they are esteemed over others for whatever reason I remain even/neutral. I'm no sycophant
You must know how to live with boredom. I brought over 70 pounds of books with me. This should solve that problem... I hope. I know I can't spend all my time reading but reading has so many benefits and I plan to exploit this pasttime
You must be patient. Nigerians are very impatient and this is ironic because things move slowly here (compared to the western world) so you must learn to be patient and do something in the meanwhile to aid your spirit
You need to be aware of your fundamentals. This is most important and I should have put it first. You need to know your values and be 100% sure about them. That is key to anything or any situation really
Extreme politeness. To negate the effect of rudeness I practice extreme politeness with all Naijas I meet. I notice that most of my interactions with people, usually start negative. I have noticed that if you are genuinely nice they will come around.
Don't participate in the bullshit multifaceted respect. Have the same level of respect for all individuals. Don't feed egos and don't let you ego be fed
Living in the motherland can finish you if you don't take care. I would appreciate any other advice on how to keep my balance/guard my heart
Before writing this. I should admit. I'm not the best person to comment on this subject. I'm sure others have written about it yet I find it beffting to add my own experience to history
I was having dinner with a couple at their home. A multicultural couple. While having a deep conversation about something the man proceeded to ask me: "do you consider yourself more Nigerian or American ?"
I laughed a little and then he said: "I'm sorry it was too challenging of a question to ask, you don't have to answer it..."
Before I continue I should let you know, this was the day before I moved to the Motherland (Nigeria). It had been 14 yrs since I left. Of course I had been back to visit several times but my experiences had occurred under less consciousness or awareness. Back to the story, I smiled and told him: "No, it is not challenging" and then I answered proudly laughing and saying "yeah I feel more Nigerian". What a mistake. The next day I got on my flight to The Motherland and that is when I started to question what it means to be Nigerian and what it is to be proud of.
When I got to Nigeria I realized how fundamentally flawed most Nigerians are. Most. Not all.
Amongst the problems, these are a few... and some of them are redundant:
Rudeness-- just plain disgusting rudeness sometimes
Aggressiveness--most interactions are conducted in an aggressive manner by both parties
Meanness-- I kept noticing systematic meanness, unneccesary meaness and the lack of love amongst neighbors
Social Inequality
Wealth as a sign on Identity and Rich people being seen as gods and even worse acting like gods
Profound lawlessness
People are ready to cheat you because they know you are going to cheat them
Too much arguing!
Treating people as if they are things and not human beings
Lesser percieved value of human life
Widespread cases of idleness/slothness-- a life w/o a purpose can hardly said to be human
The love of praise is too much
I came up with reasons for all the above but because of the lenght I chose not to discuss them here, maybe a later post
My dealings for the past two weeks have allowed me to come up with conclusions like:
-Being honest or principled is likely to result in physical poverty, in the motherland. (righteousness has a price and that price can sometimes be unemployment or stagnancy or poverty, esp in a country like this. You either join them or...)
-It is very easy to create enemies if you choose to act principled
A famous philosopher once said that when introduced to an environment where unacceptable behavior is the norm, initially a newcomer becomes disgusted by the behavior, after some time he/she becomes less disgusted then tolerant of the behavior and then gradually he/she accepts and even participates in the behavior. It is just human nature, accelerated by passivity.
I definitely do not want to change in these aspects and I have set up a plan of action on how I have to remain balanced and stick to my core, because like my cousin Tupac Amaru Shakur said: don't ever change, keep your essence.
What I/you must do to be able live here and keep balance
Stay on your toes. If you live in a negative environment it is only a matter of time before you become more negative. The only solution to this is to change environment or character. You are not changing environment so you must focus on living very consciously and deliberately in order to protect your character
Being very careful who you give praise to. I always praise the common man I have an interaction with, whether it be a security guy at a shop or a cashier or whoever, but when dealing with people who think they are esteemed over others for whatever reason I remain even/neutral. I'm no sycophant
You must know how to live with boredom. I brought over 70 pounds of books with me. This should solve that problem... I hope. I know I can't spend all my time reading but reading has so many benefits and I plan to exploit this pasttime
You must be patient. Nigerians are very impatient and this is ironic because things move slowly here (compared to the western world) so you must learn to be patient and do something in the meanwhile to aid your spirit
You need to be aware of your fundamentals. This is most important and I should have put it first. You need to know your values and be 100% sure about them. That is key to anything or any situation really
Extreme politeness. To negate the effect of rudeness I practice extreme politeness with all Naijas I meet. I notice that most of my interactions with people, usually start negative. I have noticed that if you are genuinely nice they will come around.
Don't participate in the bullshit multifaceted respect. Have the same level of respect for all individuals. Don't feed egos and don't let you ego be fed
Living in the motherland can finish you if you don't take care. I would appreciate any other advice on how to keep my balance/guard my heart
